He Lives

Saturday night at Old Navy

It took a little reassurance to get Dash close to the Bunny, but before long he was giving him a high-five.

This week…has been an abnormal, unsettling week, and I have been pretty absent online. (One of my best friends who lives many miles away even called to check on me.) There has been a lot on my mind even before this week…a lot of retrospective and challenging events taking place in my little world around me and in my little (well, actually big) head. Plus, I spent the first half of one day in the hospital with a family member who was having heart tests. I had an MRI done on my brain, and I awaited those results. (Both tests turned out normal and fine.) Someone I knew from college passed away, and then...a close friend of mine lost his mom. When someone I love dies or someone I love has someone he/she loves die…I just sort of stop. Everything else seems so...like nothing at all.

I can praise God for so many things during the hard times…I really can…almost all the way. I do, but there are certainly moments that I don’t. I’m not a morning person. If my kids wake me up before 7 (and anything before 8 is not ideal), I feel like I have a hangover, and I’m not happy about it. (I’ve never actually had a hangover; I’m only presuming what it would feel like.) I am certainly not joyful or thinking things along the lines of “Praise God for this beautiful morning!” or “Praise God for my sweet kids who woke me up this great day!” I want to think those things first thing in the morning, though, and that is one thing I am working on. What if it was the last day I spent on earth with them…is that how I would have wanted the day to begin? I'm only using the early morning situation to symbolize something greater. I think I’ve needed to wake up literally AND metaphorically lately…I have MORE than I should even have at all. I am not deserving, and yet I spend too much time wanting more, and I’m not even talking about material items. This is one of my flaws, and it has presented itself lately in unflattering ways. As I listened yesterday to all the amazing accolades being bestowed upon a special woman at her funeral, I couldn't help but wonder if I would have handled her situation with as much strength as she did...I would hope so...but I don't know.

I’m really glad that today is Easter. I guess there was no better day for my spirits to be raised. At church this morning, my wise, wonderful pastor shared a quote from Yogi Berra. “It ain’t over til it’s over.” It was just what I needed to hear in this time of feeling down. I am truly my own worst enemy. I can feel sorry for myself. I can feel lonely. I can question why bad things have happened to me and to other good people. I may wonder what the point of life even is. I’m a pretty laid-back, easygoing person who doesn’t get rattled easily. I’ve been rattled lately, though. However, this morning's message made me think about a verse I often find encouragement from…I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live. Deuteronomy 30:19 “My life isn’t over until He says it’s over.” And if my life isn’t over, then I sure have a lot to do while I’m here. Why do I waste a minute of it?

He lives…and I CHOOSE LIFE. Happy Easter.

Naked Juice

I came downstairs this morning to Dash telling me he was drinking "wiener juice." "What?" I asked. Ryan said Dash told him that I explained to him how all the fruits and vegetables were naked, and, therefore, I called it "wiener juice." I WAS explaining to him yesterday why it was called "Naked juice," but I never said the word "wiener" in that discussion. We drink Naked juice a lot around here (the boys, yes, always think that the name is funny), and if you don't know what it is, look here. Anyway, I explained that a lot of drinks have their fruits and veggies covered up with sugar, artificial junk, and preservatives, but the fruits and veggies in Naked juice are not covered up by anything else - they are naked. How he made the leap from that to "wiener juice," I do not know. Sorry if all this talk of wieners offends you. I live in a house with two little boys; the topic is brought up multiple times daily.

My Baby Boy is Four

Dash's birthday was Sunday. He's four. He wants to grow up. He talks about it all the time - how he's looking forward to it, what he'll do when he's "big," etc. He says, "I'm almos' bigger." I tell him to slow down and enjoy it, of course. Though obviously none of my kids were wanted or loved more than the others, his birth was an especially magnificent, yearned-for event. I know how blessed I am, being able to have kids...when some people are not...so I don't want this to sound like "poor me, I had to wait so long," when I know there are some who will never have one, let alone three. But...three years passed from the time I knew I REALLY wanted another baby until he was born. When Tornado was almost two, I was ready, and I waited and waited for months but no luck. Then I found out I had cancer. I remember my thoughts at my "diagnosis appointment" being consumed with how this was going to affect me having another baby pronto. I could hardly control my sobbing when the doctor said I'd need to wait at least a year before trying again. My endocrinologist ended up giving us the green light before an entire year was up, however, it took almost a full year after that to find out I was expecting. Any mom who has waited to get pregnant knows the feeling of seeing those two lines on the stick. Even my horrible morning sickness didn't get me down.

picking up Tornado from Googie and Papaw's house, on our way home from the hospital

My water broke almost two weeks before my due date. I think it was partly due to all the stress of my mom almost dying in the hospital from pneumonia. I was also HUGE; I had gained 60 pounds. I could barely waddle through the parking lot up to her hospital room each day. I was at the point of not knowing if my mother was going to meet her fourth grandchild...not knowing HOW I was going to even be able to smile when my baby boy was born if I lost her. I'm not trying to turn this blog post into a bummer, but I'm just trying to get the point across of how good it was to have him here - with her well again. (She had only been home from the hospital for less than a week, I think.) My c-section after VBAC attempt/24 plus hour labor was rather traumatic...however, it was one of my happiest moments ever when Tornado got to come in the room and meet his brother for the first time. We might have been fine having one child, but I so wanted him to know the joys of having siblings, as I do. Just as he picked Sissy's middle name, he had also gotten to pick Dash's middle name. (which is actually Dash...The Incredibles movie was out while I was pregnant.)

There's nothing like sweet little baby giggles.

He was really always a good, content, happy baby.

wearing Daddy's cycling glasses

He was a quick little learner. He was rolling over, sitting up, crawling, talking, etc. early and with ease.

He also always lunged for food long before it was officially time to give it to him. He fed himself so well at a really early age, too.

It also was not long before we realized...we had our work cut out for ourselves. It's like we barely had any "baby" time before he was up and into everything. I'd walk into the room and find him standing on top of the table, just like this. He was capable of amazing things...and looked right through us when we said the word "no." Some things have not changed. I just told Ryan, on the phone, that Dash just screamed after he stuck a golf tee in his ear. Ryan said, "Short of duck taping him to a chair, I don't know what we're going to do with him."

He and Tornado were great buddies from the start, though. Here Dash has his hair in his Bam Bam ponytail he always wore when he was growing his bangs out. During this time period, his cousin Owen was convinced "he" was a girl.

Little clown on his second Halloween, age 20 months - wearing one of aunt Tracy's costumes from when she was young

Further displaying that mind of his own, he often insisted on wearing underwear over his pants

2nd birthday...I think he looks just like Sissy here.

Photo shoot soon after his little sister was born...they are 23 months apart.

I had to leave this one color to get the full effect. The title on these crayon pictures in his scrapbook reads, "A picture is worth a thousand words."

Before we took him to get his long, curly locks cut off...I only had it cut because he was starting preschool (Nov. 07), and I didn't want him to always have to explain to the other kids that he was not a girl.

Right after his hair cut...I cried on the way home. :)

Vacation to the Northwest, June '08...I can't believe how much bigger he is now, in less than a year.

For almost an entire year he talked about wanting a cowboy birthday party. (age 3)

Dash can't be talked about without mentioning Super Heroes. He loves them as much as any boy could possibly love them. He is one. The majority of the time is he dressed up like one - or at least, pretending to fly from the top of the couch to the floor, zooming by like Dash, his namesake, or growling and "smashing" like the Hulk.

We had his birthday party at Oogles 'N Googles. I think he really loved it. They walked the plank, had a scavenger hunt, learned pirate lingo, played pirate games, and danced, etc.

I love this picture because it shows his wonderful sweet side. He really IS a good, sweet boy. It just gets covered up sometimes by his stubbornness and temper issues. I love the innocence and excitement in his eyes and face and the way he is holding his hands in expectation. Makes me almost forget he is capable of a conversation like the one we had recently. Mom: "Can you please not yell? I have a headache." Dash: "Well, it gives me a headache when you talk." Mom: "That hurts my feelings." Dash: "You're starting to hurt my feelings." Oh, boy.

I loved how they let him pick his own candles and put them in his cupcake, and make very important birthday decisions. "Do you want the lights on or off?" Dash: "Off." "Do you want us to sing quiet or loud?" Dash: "Quiet." "Do you want us to cha-cha-cha or no cha-cha-cha?" Dash: "No cha-cha-cha." Vegan cupcakes courtesty of Little Bird Bake Shop in Springfield, Missouri.
I complain about how difficult Dash can be, but we just have to keep praying and working with him to become the little man God wants him to be. I had to tell his father that he lost his treasure chest privilege at school today because he was spitting and not listening to the teacher. Ryan said, "We have 'that kid,' don't we? The one who is always going to get in trouble at school." Sigh. However, there may not be a person I love spending time alone with more than him. When left to his own devices, he is capable of complete mayhem, just like the mud that is currently all over our front door and windows. (He thought of it, and so he did it.) But when you get that little guy alone, he is FUNNY and FABULOUS. He likes having his head and back rubbed. He likes to wrestle and be chased and giggle and pester and have lots of fun. He likes to look at his photo albums and talk about them. He is at the age in which he is learning new things with letters and numbers every day. The other day I told him I love him. He said, "Wuv you." I asked, "How come you never says it unless I say it first?" (Okay, I clearly have positive reinforcement issues, haha.) He smiled and said, "I like you." "You like me?" He smiled again, "I like...your teeth." He tells great stories and adds a whole new perspective to life that we need and love. The other day, when we were at the daffodil field, Ryan started a little speech about "being in the outdoors, really appreciating the beauty around you, feeling at peace, etc." Dash said, "Don't say that anymore, Daddy. It's making me feel funny." My baby boy wants to be all grown up, but he still clings to my leg upon entering new places and situations. He still wants me to get in bed with him at night, and he still says, "I want you to hold me," all the time. And I am just fine with that.

This and That

Yesterday, Tornado and I had the opportunity to visit the Traveling Creation Museum. We listened to Mr. Meek's discussions on science and history in regards to the Genesis account of Creation. He talked about dinosaurs, the ark, Pasteur, the big bang theory, etc. I bought The New Answers Book and started reading it last night. I also bought What Really Happened to the Dinosaurs? for Dash because just the night before he asked us why God killed the nice dinosaurs like the brachiosaurus. He has had a lot of questions lately about...well, what happened to the dinosaurs.

Ryan and the boys explored the old barn with Great Aunt Judy. She showed them where she kept her horse Gypsy when she was young. They peeked out at us from the little loft window. Judy gave them rides in the wheelbarrow.

This weekend the whole family went up north to celebrate Dash's 4th birthday (blog post to come). On Sunday we went to my grandpa's house to visit. My two aunts, Judy and Patsy, were there for the day, as well. It turned into a perfect kind of day. The weather was nice, and we were able to stay outside. The kids helped with jobs such as picking up sticks out of the yard. They thought it was neat that Judy and Patsy were ripping off the door to an old outbuilding. It was just one of those days you appreciate the "simple things in life" and enjoy being with people you love.

Sissy, trying to push the wheelbarrow

Great Aunt Patsy, helping Dash cut out last year's dead plants from the garden

Dash had pajama day at school recently. The other day, after school, Tornado said he wanted to go to school, too. Dash said, "You not go to school. Just little kids go to school. Not big kids. Just little kids." We are, of course, curious what our little ones are like when they are at school. Dash gave us a little hint the other day at supper. He said, "The girl always says, 'Yuck,' when I show her my cupcake." I asked him where his cupcake was. He opened his mouth of chewed-up food and said, "Like this...and she goes like this." (and he made a face and turned away.) That's my boy - really impressing the ladies. Speaking of funny kid quotes...this weekend, Tornado announced to my brother and his family that Dash always gets in trouble for saying bad words. "Like poop...pee...wiener...bathroom...toilet paper." Haha. I think that's so funny.
"We're building sand castles in our pretend beach. Do you want to come to our beach?" - Dash asks Mommy on March 18. We are loving this warm weather, as most people are. And it was like magic - Daddy's seasonal affective disorder (diagnosed by Mommy) mysteriously lifted the weekend of the time change. Time change, how we love you. (and Daddy, how we love you, too.)

Daffodil Festival

I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud

I wandered lonely as a cloud

That floats on high o'er vales and hills,

When all at once I saw a crowd,

A host of golden daffodils;

We enjoyed a picnic with the daffodils last weekend at Wye Mountain

Beside the lake, beneath the trees,

Fluttering and dancing in the breeze. Continous as the stars that shine

And twinkle on the milky way,

They stretched in never-ending line

Along the margin of the bay:Ten thousand saw I at a glance,

Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.The waves beside them danced; but they

Outdid the sparkling waves in glee -

A poet could not but be gay

In such a jocund company.

I gazed - and gazed - but little thought

What wealth the show to me had brought.Jenny Jr. (left), posing

For oft when on my couch I lie

In vacant or in pensive mood,

They flash upon that inward eye,

Which is the bliss of solitude,

And then my heart with pleasure fills,

And dances with the daffodils.

- one of my favorite poems by William Wordsworth

Spring Break Road Trip

Update: If you are coming over from Field Trip Friday, I decided, for my first link-up, to share one of our trips from last year since we haven't been on a trip yet this summer.

When I realized the kids were on spring break this week, it seemed to be the perfect time to take the little trip I'd been thinking about. We left first thing Monday morning (well, about 10:00, only an hour after I'd hoped), with the DVD player set up and new stickers books, Magna Doodles, and snacks to go around.

We made it to the Children's Museum in Memphis just in time to participate in the Move and Groove, which was perfect to help them get out their "sitting in the car too long" energy. As soon as we had loaded out of the car and paid our admission, my camera problems began (out of film, digital camera out of batteries, and then it stopped working altogether). I had to buy a disposable camera for $10 in the gift shop. I never even thought to turn on the flash, either, so we don't have many spectacular pictures from inside the museum. It was similar to any of the other children's museums we go to - The Discovery Museum, etc. but the kids enjoyed it a lot.

After we played for a couple of hours, we went to Whole Foods in Memphis. It's usually a good place for us to find something to eat, and I always enjoy seeing what the different Whole Foods carry. However, this time it wasn't as pleasurable of an experience...it was crowded, and it felt kind of dirty...usually, I feel like Whole Foods is much cleaner and brighter than most grocery stores, but I was a little disappointed here. I think the kids' overly excited/talking nonstop/ running around behavior was just making it worse. And there was mostly just meat and dairy on the hot bar/salad bar. I will say, though, I discovered my new favorite treat...organic chocolate covered cocoa nibs. Chocolate covered chocolate - what is better than that?

The kids love staying at hotels, and they were bouncing up and down when we got into our room at The ColdWater Inn in Tuscumbia, Alabama. It was about two hours away from Memphis. It went by fast, though, because the little ones slept a lot, and Tornado is just fabulous entertaining himself in the car. I find little ways to entertain myself such as practicing staying in the right lane. For some reason, I tend to drive in the left lane on the interstate; it just feels more comfortable there. When the kids were sleeping or watching movies, I was also able to bust out some old cds (Matchbox Twenty, Jewel, etc.) that were fun to reminisce upon.

The biggest problem of traveling alone with the kids is the number of stops we have to make. Usually, if Ryan is driving, and there is a problem with the DVD player, I just turn around and fix it. Or if someone has to pee, I take a bottle back there and take care of it. We still used the bottles, but I had to pull over because they are not to be trusted yet with the bottle alone. Once we had a spray all over the car (all over my face) episode that I do not want to revisit. Anyway, the hotel was new and nice, and we would definitely recommend it.

The next morning, we ate breakfast downstairs, then took off for The U.S. Space & Rocket Center/Davidson Center for Space Exploration. When I stopped to get gas, Dash spilled his entire sippy cup of milk all over himself. He had to lose his long sleeved shirt (which was okay since it was a beautiful day), and I had to hang his shorts out the window the hour drive to Huntsville. I still did not have film for my camera (and digital camera still broken). I tried a few different gas stations and dollar general type stores, but no one sold film. (I finally found some later that afternoon; it's pretty rural down in those parts.) I thought SURELY the space gift shop would sell film. Once again, they only sold disposable cameras, and the space center was so large, it seemed entirely too daunting to go back to the car and drive to get film. I remembered the flash this time, but it didn't seem to be working. The pictures we took inside were too dark, of course...so sad.

the kids having a snack - french fries and chips (not a lot for us at the food court) mixed with the carrots and almonds we had brought along

This space museum is where kids go to Space Camp. We saw the campers all day, and it looked like fun! The place is really geared toward that, so there was a lot we didn't get to see. I'd love for the kids to go one day. There are even 3 day parent/child programs. We watched the Imax 3-D showing of Fly Me To the Moon, which was really cute. Plus, you get to wear 3D glasses, and that's always fun. It followed the story of three little flies who were (fictionally, of course) on the first flight to the moon. While we were waiting on the movie to start, we were listening to one of the counselors quizzing her kids on different space facts, and I was thinking how much I would have loved that when I was young. I would have been the perfect little Space Camper. I even learned something new, listening to them. The answer to "Who was the first woman in space?" is Valentina Tereshkova...I'll never forget this because she said it so many times in a way they would remember "ValentiNA!....TereshKOVA!.... ValentiNA!....TereshKOVA!" (If you were thinking Sally Ride, she was the first American woman in space.)

Click on this picture of Dash to get a better idea of just how scared he was going up and down on this little kiddie ride. It was a small version of the huge one they have for big people to experience. (There were a lot of rides/attractions/accelerators that we weren't able to do.) Dash was SCREAMING to get off, and I had to apologize to the happy mom who was taking pictures of her happy child riding. This was toward the end of the day, though, and his fear was being amplified by the fact he was so tired. I don't know why my boys picked the two seats right next to the stranger. So funny.

Sissy kept going up the steps, down the slide, back up and down, again and again. She'd say "I wanna do!" every time.

We loaded up with snacks and frozen dinners at a little health food store in Huntsville, and the two little ones were asleep before we were out of the parking lot. When we were driving back into Tuscumbia, Sissy and Dash were still asleep, and I didn't want to wake them. I followed the signs to "Downtown Historic Tuscumbia" to look around. I discovered beautiful Spring Park. After going back to the hotel for a few minutes (potty, snacks, warmer clothes, etc.), we drove back to Spring Park to play.

Cold Water Falls, inside Spring Park...the world's largest man-made natural stone waterfall to be known in existence. It was really pretty, and the kids also enjoyed feeding the birds that were swimming in the water.

my dino lover

After we played for awhile, we went back to the hotel, heated up and consumed our frozen meals, then went to sleep. Oh, yeah, what you can't see in this picture is the milk spilt down Dash's shirt. He spilled his milk THREE times during the trip. The final time was right before we got home. It was all pooled in his car seat. There was something about the disposable sippy cups we were using. He'd pull at the lid with his teeth. Neither of the other kids had this problem.

We were sad to wake up the next morning to cold, rainy weather. I didn't want it to ruin our trip to Ivy Green, birthplace of Helen Keller, because it was the original purpose of our vacation. Tornado and I have been learning about the 50 States, and Helen Keller came up during our Alabama studies. I realized, looking on the map, how close Tuscumbia was to Arkansas. I had "Tuscumbia" and "Tuskogee" in my head from when I was little and loved reading my Helen Keller book. We bought the Inspiring Animated Heroes: Helen Keller DVD, and we checked out different Helen Keller books from the library. Note: Tornado did not enjoy the DVD as much as Dash did. It really upset him the way she threw fits when she was little because she did not understand the world around her. He's very sensitive about these kinds of things.

The dining room...for those of you familiar with the story, this is where Anne Sullivan, her teacher, wrestled and stood strong with stubborn Helen until she learned to sit and eat properly. (She had been spoiled by her parents up to this point and would walk around, eating off everyone's plates.) Only a few feet away from the main house was the cottage that Anne and Helen stayed in for awhile. This is where the teacher was able to gain her student's trust and get her to learn to control her tantrums, away from her parents. Helen was actually born in the little guest cottage, which is where she and her family lived for a few years. The main house originally belonged to her grandparents.

And this, of course, is the original fountain where Helen, at age 7, finally understood that everything has a name. Miss Sullivan spelled W-A-T-E-R into her hand as the water poured from the fountain, and that was the moment that changed Helen's life.

the view from behind the house, in front of the carriage house

It started raining while we were walking around the grounds, and a nice man who was working outside came out with a big umbrella for us...so nice. Ivy Green was my favorite part of the trip for sure. I learned more about Helen Keller, and I just found myself being amazed about her life all over again. In the room of the house that is set up as the "museum," full of photographs and mementos, I just couldn't believe all that she accomplished in her life. There was a letter on display that she had written at the age of 8, only a year after she began to understand words at all. She had written beautifully with beautiful handwriting; it was unbelievable that it was written by an 8 year old, let alone a blind and deaf 8 year old.

The two ladies that were giving the tours and speaking with us were so sweet and gracious. My children behaved marvelously, and I had been holding my breath before we entered the well-kept, antique-filled home. Tornado and Dash both told our tour guide little facts they knew about Helen, and I was so proud of them. Dash, for some reason, had expected to meet Helen Keller personally, even though I had told him she is in heaven. All in all, successful field trip...but it's always good to be home.